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_ oar iii ha ek ee 2 ee and had trusted implicitly, a man ; from whom | had withheld nothing, Cc was in fact a master of deception. It is hard for me io put into Words just how painful and bewil- a dering this discovery was. But at a this disclosure ‘seemed to distye im deeply, perhaps because it an entirely new light on his rcis ons with the British, If the British—or some of them —had known about his Russian ki anu Teneeuve, Somehow . th ; ; : 1 connections all along, he was the defeated by i vcomen eee oe , Co ¢ : a ne who had been fooled. re problem could be licked. The wall | 7 i aa pee ~ ought he was spying on them, bu which was growing up between us|“ ¢: i Z -* they were keeping an eye on him could yet be Scaled, age G ; —trying to use bim against the . ° Ruciabe without his Keowing it © Copyright Eleanor Phithy; Purrick ptt! | If thisfwere true, much of what he passed on to Soviet Intelligence would be valueless. Finally he said quietly, but with more than a touch of pride; ‘I've been working for the Rusciane for thirty years, nat just for seven years." Several days later, after all our long talks together, I asked him a straight leading question: * What is more important in your life, me and-the children or the Communist Party ?* We answered firmly and without a moment's hesitation; "The party, of course."* Dedicated. \ This made me feel rather foolish, I was sorry [ had asked the ques- tion. 1 had never met a truly dedicated Communist before. Kim very rarely mentioned his political convictions and [ had always thought we shared the same views. Our conversation from day to day was much ‘as it had been in Beirut, concerned with the diverting trivia of daily life. On ideological ques- lions he gave nothing away. Much later I said to nim: ‘You should have married a Communist, ‘g dedicated Communist, nobody else.” *You are absolutely right,” he replied. These conversations could not fail to steer our personal relations into entirely new channels. I had lwars felt thar one of the most recious things which bound us ogether was that we had av secrets from each other, but i could no longer cherish this illusion, ¢ had to adjust myself to the new situation because I sensed it would never be different. [ quickly realised " that I would never know the com- pieié truth about Kim's secret life. The exact nature of his work, the _ circumstances of his departure ‘ from Beirut, much of the last 30 " years of his life—these would fo: , ever remain a mystery. ! Tohad wanes rr a 2 a bow shi eG B@ LCMWCT UE Seale 1967, : a“ } : ‘ : i Next week: Life with the Macleans, i} — SMS a) Cc Hl 5. Have id Udviae ee wee orem. '; the Commpunist Party, nor did 1 ‘ have any Mesire to become one. | don't suppose they would have - accepted me, even if I had begged them. ~ Gradually, but ameely, 1 waa ae t Ly a